How to get rid of the Sweaty Men

OK, so before we start I need to tell all the ladies one thing. “its not our fault!”

It really isn’t, we, yes we are the true victims of the Sweaty Man Syndrome because of sexism.

I know what your thinking so let me prove to everyone my argument.

Did you every see the episode of Strictly Come Dancing, It Take 2 where Zoe Ball was interviewing Vicky, the seamstress. They were talking about what outfits were coming up for the coming show.

Vicky goes; Well Zoe, this week for Vincent we have this thin cotton top which when he starts sweating will create these perfect little patterns. The best thing about this material is it just holds in the liquid and just creates the most wonderful stain like designs. They start up the back, under the arms, across the chest, and a favourite of mine, all around the neck which I’m told can be quite painful as the material rubs like a hacksaw when it’s wet.

Zoe bounces up and down a little too excited.

Vicky continues; And do you know what I love about this material Zoe?

Zoe; No. no I don’t. Tell me.

Vicky; Well it also works as an insulator so as the first layer of liquid soaks into the shirt it traps in the heat keeping the man lovely and warm.

Zoe’s bouncing about two foot high now; Oh My God that sounds fantastic, what have you got for Brendan.

Vicky; Well for him with got this thicker cotton t-shirt and this does something wonderful because it’s cotton it will hold in all the sweat like the first one but this one, oh this one Zoe. It just soaks up the sweat like a hunger sponge getting heavier and heavier and heavier and hangs lower and lower and lower ending up just sticking to the man’s skin like a big wet used tea towel. It’s so sexy.

nieprzyjemny pot jest na to rada
nieprzyjemny pot jest na to rada

Has anyone seen that Episode, anyone?

Now go down the high street and check what options we men have.

Shirts

Plain, Stripy, Chequered and if your feeling way out there and crazy, Paisley.

T-shirts

Plain, Stripy, Chequered, Rugby, abstract or covered in something about America for no reason.

And what are all of these wonderful choices made of? Anyone? Begins with COTTON. Anyone?

So the High Street is out as nothing there is any good.

Now, I don’t think I am a unique snowflake. If I have been looking everywhere for something to dance in then so have others. The fact that every bloke I see dancing in cotton means were are all in this together.

So what’s the answer?

I have two ways around this so far, one is better for the ladies but not for the men, the other is better for the men.

Waistcoats

These work well for ladies as they don’t have to stroke their hands over all our sweaty bits, this was my choice as I got self-conscious about that sort of thing. On the negative side you get hotter at times but on the plus, you do look smarter.

I did find some excellent quality stuff in lots of places and with a little looking in the real gentlemen shops, found some incredible pieces. I have spent between £5 to £96 on these things so far and more than happy with all this.

Now for me, I found this brilliant for freestyles and weekenders because the ladies always and I mean always look so stunning this made me feel like I am matching their standard. Which made me feel more confident and relaxed while I was dancing which in turn also helped me be a little better as a dancer as I was more relaxed.

I’m not saying a waistcoat makes you a better dancer, just if your self-conscious like I was, this helps.

At his point of the story, I do need to add that I had given up looking for something descent, the choices were just to be hot and wear something that stops the ladies feeling wet patches or just let them cope with it. Then I got a Christmas present which has revived the search.

 Dry Fit T-shirts.

This is the real answer as they are designed to let your body breath and let all the sweat evaporate.

These are the perfect, ideal, complete out and out answer to the whole bloody thing. If we all wore these, the whole Sweaty Man Syndrome would be gone in one night.

Here’s the problem for me which might not be a problem for you so bear with it.

You are only going to find these things in sports or activity shops which I was never looking in; I want evening wear.

So they look like your going to the gym or something which for me is not matching the style of the ladies on a night out and not making me feel super slick. I have found some plain ones which I’m wearing with the waistcoats at the moment. It’s not rocking my world, but I don’t feel sweaty, so it’s not all bad.

There are plenty with a sporting logo all over the chest, but I did that in the 80’s and didn’t feel it back then.

To be fair though I have only just found these so am still in the research phase but things are definitely looking up now I am now looking in the right place and at the right materials.

It turns out all I needed to do was look in places I don’t ever go.

Unique Snowflake

Now, I don’t think I am a unique snowflake. If I have been looking everywhere for something to dance in then so have others.

Have a look about next time you go dancing and see how many men are wearing clothing relevant to our activity.

I do know this, even if we all do start wearing the t-shirts there is still always going to be some sweat because of what we are doing, but it would make a massive difference. It still isn’t going to help for gala nights or formal occasions, but you have to start somewhere.

If you have any helpful advice on this matter, join in and leave a comment.

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