Lets play E.T. or How to save the Women

So, let’s play E.T. and save the women from the grapplers.

It’s always on the forum pages, and everyone is talking about it every time I go out dancing. How women are getting hurt from rough leads and what can be done about it. So I have come up with 2 cunning plans to save the precious ladies from being hurt by grappler’s.

Yes Blackadder fans, 2 cunning plans. More cunning than Mr Cunning having a cunning plan on how to win this year’s Cunning Competition.  Indeed.

So here’s my idea, Plan 1, Using Subterfuge.

Let’s Play E.T.

It’s for the ladies to create, and in principle it needs to be a group attack. Find your target; discuss this among the gathering so everyone is in on it. First victim, sorry, first lady goes up to said masochist and asks him to play ET.

What’s that? he asks, to which you reply about the famous scene in ET, not the one where he makes the bike fly, the other one. No, not where the creepy wrinkle thing is hanging out in the kids bedroom NO not that one either. The OUCH moment, glowing fingertip to fingertip.michelangelo-71282_640

You’re going to ask him to lead by fingertip alone, and he’s the clincher. You are going to say it’s To help you be a better follow.

We men are simple creatures and a lady in distress this is going to hit our White Knight delusion with a vengeance. A Fiver says he almost falls over himself to help you sort your problems out. You know what we’re like.

We aren’t looking for anything technical difficult here but for a grappler this might be a weird experience so be gentle with them. Tell them only to do simple moves to start, if it goes wrong Giggle, make it fun. Once it’s done, thank him for his help and leave.

As the evening progresses other ladies come over and play the same game, all in an attempt to break the beast of their bad habit. By association the man should figure out they can lead using a lot less force or the clamp grip. By force of habit they should lighten up.

Then go back to the collective and discuss again to decide if you can ramp up his training. Because that’s what it is, Training.


So, I can understand that some of you are not going to go for plan 1 for various reasons. You don’t like lying, are never going to kowtow to a foolish man, stuff like that, so here is an amazing alternative.

Plan 2. The direct approach that I cannot think of a fun name for, I’m tilting towards Brutal Horrific Broadside Ambush Attack.battleship-79519_640

Go find the best lead you have in your little world, take their hand and gently walk them over to your target. Point at the target and say in a loud proud voice.

“Teach him how to lead properly before he hurts someone else.”

And walk off.


There are many reasons for poor leads. Inadequacies, overcompensating, poor footwork, alpha male syndrome, ignorant gob***** or just plain not very good.

However I would offer the simple fact that none of us are really taught how to do it properly, seriously.

We get told not to use our thumbs when dealing with a move, that’s it!

When have you been to a class that teaches technique and not just the moves? Modern Jive is what it is, simple moves taught in a simple manor that doesn’t include proper discussions on technique.

So we end up finding are own path, we do what works for us and live in the happy belief that we are good at what we do. Unless someone actually says “Stop it your hurting me!” Some can truly never know they are a problem. Unless someone says it out loud it’s a situation that can be ignored.

Belief and Delusion are fun places to hang out so unless you actually talk to the people involved nothing is going to change.

Common Sense I hear as the argument. Surely you know if you’re doing it wrong.

Firstly, don’t call me Shirley! Mhahahaha :-). (I know that joke doesn’t quite work when you write it down but I don’t care.)

Secondly, you cannot ever rely on common sense for anything especially when dealing with people.

So, your choices are PLAN 1 or PLAN 2 or talk to each other like adults. Personally I like Plan 2 best.

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2 thoughts on “Lets play E.T. or How to save the Women”

  1. I’d love to do point 2 – I’m usually quite blunt about it for repeat offenders. What works other than grabbing their hand and prising their fingers off my hand, is telling them you won’t dance with them until they’re a gentler lead. But it kind of goes against modern jive ‘rules’ of dancing with everyone.

    My view (after having tension and follow/lead technique drummed into me for 2.5 years by a salsa teacher) is that more modern jive classes need to teach a basic lead and follow exercise, palm to palm, and following the level of push from each other, then the man can lead using a soft through to hard tension/push to see the difference and ability to move. So easy, can be done in a couple of minutes and related to a lead.

    Mind you, it’s not only the men who’re grabbers, some women hold on for dear life too which is just as painful for the lead.

    Like

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