Zorro’s Do’s and Don’ts on the Dance Floor

Let’s go over all the rules; it won’t be hard. There is only 1.

I have considered this from many angles. I have tried to write this piece at least four times.
Not because I’m having trouble with the sentence structure. As you know if you have read my stuff before, that’s not one of my priorities 🙂 but the bit about all the rules.

After listing several lists of rules and trying to make it a bit funny so as not to bore you too much, it has come to bear that there is only one rule. Just 1, single, individual, on its own, lonely rule, which is;

Don’t be a Cock!


Now, at this point, I do need to apologise for my sexism because I don’t know if there is a female version of this. I know lots of things women call each other, but none of them seem quite to fit.
I’m not 100% that thinking there should be a female variant isn’t sexist. It’s all rather confusing trying to be a modern man.

Anyway, let’s just get what my understanding of the sentence is and we can see if we all agree.

Being a Cock is based on a bit of selfishness, it’s not aggressive or undermining.

A prime example would be;

They are stood at the side of the dance floor with a drink. People are dancing all around them, and they decided that waiting 30 seconds for the song to finish was just too much time. At which point they walk around the dance floor bumping into every Dancer on the way.

It’s not evil; it could be innocent, and they might have just got excited about seeing someone. But with that single act, they have tarnished the inner light that we all get from social dancing, for no real reason.

But once you realise that the only rule you need to follow is, don’t be a cock. Things get simpler because you don’t have to cover every single individual rule we should all know, all the social graces, and the way to treat people, as again, it all reverts to The One Golden Rule.

But what if it’s you? It could be!!
How would you know? It’s based on selfishness, so thinking what you do is OK would be logical and you may never realise. So, here are Zorro’s;

10 Rules on how to know if you are being a Cock.


1. You think you may have a new form of tinnitus, as you keep hearing Tutting noises all the time.
2. Dancers keep knocking the drinks out of your hand.
3. As you gaze about a room full of people, those closest are all looking at you.
4. For some reason, dance partners keep walking off in the middle of a dance.
5. People keep offering you tic-tacs.
6. Even on a busy dancefloor, there seems to be space around you.
7. People you have danced with, rub their shoulders a lot.
8. You know everybody’s favourite deodorants cos they keep going on about it.
9. No-one runs across the floor to get to you before the start of a new dance.(Not applicable to Newbies)
10. At the end of the evening, while others are all getting kisses and hug goodnight, everybody seems to wave goodbye at you from a distance.


So we are clear, this is an overview. I would expect you to be hitting a good few of these every night to reach the fully fledged status. If you’re ticking one or two on a regular basis, then you’re just a bit of one.

So be groovy and keep an eye out to avoid being a full fletched Member.


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