Dealing with Newbie’s Insecurities.

Or just having a negative day, here is a life cheat for you.

The human mind is a funny thing and often discussed amongst many; the general conclusion is “People be Complicated.”
And because of this small detail, on occasions, we get caught out, and the insecure monkey breaks out, running rampant, causing mayhem and madness everywhere it goes.

If you read my previous post; How to keep your confidence on the Dance floor. Then you know I think we dancers can get hit with several shots in quick succession that can shake anyone’s confidence.tiro-160574__340

Not only are we dealing with a skill set that needs constant work, but we are also on display while we do this. Those two extra levels on top of life’s other joys can mean we suffer more than others for our art.

There you are, feeling no pain when something happens. Something that in itself shouldn’t be an issue, but today, just for today, it is. Release the Insecure Monkey for Chaos and Mayhem.monkey-474147__180

Getting to grips with the insecure monkey can be a challenge on its own, then you have to corral it in and put it away.
Try this for a laugh to pre-empt the breakout.

F#&% it.

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This is a nice easy one to use. Just say Fuck it, I am… and add the final part. It works for everything, but you need to use it correctly so you do not de-evolve into a stroppy teenager who finishes the statement at Fuck it.

Example for the newbies who are feeling very self-conscious taking classes in front of other people.

Fuck it, I am a learner, there is no realistic way I will look perfect doing this for the first time and neither would anyone else, so let’s just get on with it and have some fun.

There are five parts of this statement that need acknowledging.

  1. F$%& it.
  2. You are a learner.
  3. You are not going to look perfect.
  4. Lets’ move forward.
  5. Have some fun.

So, let’s work it through.
Knowing something and doing it are separate entities, we all know this. This is why the first step on the path is to acknowledge whatever is causing an issue.

Not that you’re an addict (probably) and this isn’t the 12 step programme, but the principle is valid and is there for an important reason.

Without an identity, your problem can stay hidden in the darkness. And insecure monkey likes the dark. Shine a light on the little bugger, getting it to freeze in place before it starts any problems.

The five parts are;
F$%*it.  It is a release of tension, understanding that although you might not be happy with the circumstances sometimes, you need just to ease off on the self-abuse and give yourself a break.

You are a learner. Give yourself permission to realise that you don’t have to be an expert all the time; mistakes are going to happen, and you get that. So when it does go wrong, and it will, you have already dealt with this, stopping it become a problem. Know it is part of the process of learning.

You are not going to look perfect. What will other better dancers think if they see someone trying to learn dancing and not look perfect? The answer will normally be a fond. “OMG, I did that.”meerkat-255564__340
(My personal favourite is when I see newbies looking at their feet. I have many happy memories of gazing down, trying to figure out what mine were up to.)
Or
What will non-dancers think if they see someone trying to learn dancing and not look perfect? The answer will  be. “I wish I had the confidence to do that.”

Get on with it. The most important one. Just get on with it. Worries and insecurities have a nasty habit of making you think about the same thing again and again, getting on with and moving forward are the key to dispelling them.

Have some Fun. I’m going with self explanatory on this one 🙂

Words have power. They rule our lives without us taking much notice except for particular occasions.
1. Winston Churchill’s, We will fight them on the Beaches.
2. Martin Luther Kings, I have a Dream.
3. The Chuckle brothers shouting To You, To Me.

Words have power, so use them and improve your life by getting rid of unnecessary stress.

But whatever you do, don’t go negative. Words have power so if you just beat yourself down it will have an effect. The idea is to free you, not hold you back.

So try it out with a few things and see how it goes. Clearly, you can adapt it to your style but remember the code.

  1. Identify the chaos monkey problem
  2. Give yourself permission to relax and enjoy learning.
  3. Point out the obvious so you don’t get caught up on it.
  4. Move forward..
  5. Have Fun.

It is a little cheat just to get through you worst moments of doubt. As well as this, we were all there once, so talk and ask us anything and let us give you a helping hand.

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